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The risk of our children inheriting our anxiety

5/23/2017

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​I was told many things about parenting, but two thoughts are often missing. First, you’ll see time fly. Yes, time always flies, but now it eats and poops and says new words, and then poops again, gets bigger, and learns something new. Then the day is gone, and the next day ushers more novelty unlike the days before. Before becoming a father, there was a casual monotony in my everyday that made any of the last ten years seem indistinguishable. Sometimes I can’t tell if a memory belongs to 2006 or 2013. But now time is encapsulated in a small but growing body; a recall trick that reminds me exactly what year it is by association of its temporal embodiment. A good reminder that we are all creatures of time.

The second realization was how terribly easy it is to hand down our anxieties to our children. This process resembles how children are socialised to associate emotions to various situations. If I, the father, have a fear of spiders, my reaction is appropriated by my two-year old who's scanning my face to emulate a response and decipher its meaning. Though temperament will undoubtedly factor in the child’s reaction, I fear parents (or caregivers) may belittle the fact that they are the physical embodiment of their children’s sense of security - always and everywhere.

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Losing one’s religion, or how anxiety causes suffering in faith

4/19/2017

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​Faith is a river that ebbs and flows through uneven terrain. Look at it from a distance and you will see, in time, how the shifting landscape changes the river’s course. Sometimes the geography can even bring the river to a halt.

​The loss of faith is not an easy subject to discuss, though it arouses curiosity among the religious and non-religious alike. Moreover, personal experiences of losing faith differ greatly. I will make a distinction here between those relieved and those distressed by their loss in faith. This distinction serves little more than to filter those suffering in their faith (a ‘crisis in faith’) from those who are not. The purpose of this article is to reflect on a particular form of spiritual anguish.

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Finding your path: A tribute to the lost and confused

1/24/2016

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As much as we praise those benefiting others in the world, the vast majority of people remain ignorant what they should do – who they should become – to contribute as well. Almost robotically, we’re told to do good unto others, have a social impact, and become vehicles towards world change. ‘But how does that actually translate to my life?’ many ask themselves, ‘what’s my role in this great narrative of benefiting the world?’

We live in a society which has a profound admiration of personal achievements and extravagant social status. One of the underlying presumptions of this system, what we take for granted, is this idea that everyone has this ‘real’ version of themselves that must be uncovered, and then actualized. We are all too familiar with this ideology - it’s the basic premise of any movie where the hero finds their true calling. It’s the belief that colors statements such as “you know, I’m just not a math person, I’m much more creatively minded, like an artist” or “I’m a psychologist because I’m a people-person.” The idea is that once you finally figure out who you truly are, you’ll excel at its corresponding profession because your studies and work truly reflects your ‘real You’, your specially-designed custom tailored role in the world that only you can fulfill.

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